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Lesson 7: Dating—the Benefits and Dangers
After looking at a plethora of high schoolers post their relationship problems on social media, I decided to pose a list of questions that I would ask my high school self, regarding my past crushes. Turns out, in high school, I very rarely had a crush on a God fearing guy and I never even noticed it. Shockingly, this Christian dating post will not mention purity.
I am firm about remaining pure in every way possible including thoughts, words, attitudes, and actions. I have always made this clear.
Try to date outside of school School is a place where you spend six to eight hours a day for the majority of your life. Is it okay for a freshman girl to date a senior guy in high school? Marco Christian, studied at Sekolah Mondial Batam.
To Date or Not to Date? David and Laurie Callihan Authors 12 Jun. One of the potentially difficult topics to get through with 21st century teenagers is the area of dating. Think about all of the pressures on family to conform to current mores in the area of dating and “shacking up. We have been through at least three generations where dating has been accepted as a healthy, normal part of teen life by the majority of Americans.
And why not? Isn’t it healthy for boys and girls to spend time together in pre- marriage relationships going to the movies, studying together, watching TV in the den with Dad and Mom upstairs? What could possibly be wrong with this basic American tradition? Our culture says it is preferable to try out relationships to see what is right for your son or daughter.
Again, our view is on the conservative side, since our goal is to train our children according to biblical principle. Neither of us was raised with such a view, so it has been through study and experience that we have come to our conclusions.
When Should a Christian Start Dating?
G od wants the best for us in every area of our lives. This includes relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends. We should date for fun, friendship, personality development and selection of a mate, not to be popular or for security. Don’t allow peer pressure to force you into dating situations that are not appropriate. The Bible gives us some very clear principles to guide us in making decisions about dating.
You choke on your coffee just a little bit as your mind starts to race. You try to compose yourself as much as possible as you watch your sweet little middle schooler blush, say goodbye to this unknown human boy and walk toward your car. This is a good opportunity to share your values, perspectives and hopes. If you react reasonably, with a willingness to learn and be flexible, your child will trust your judgment and continue to seek your advice as the issues around dating become increasingly complex.
Is it spending time together at the mall or movies? This is also an opportunity for you to talk about your own expectations for what you believe is appropriate in middle school. If dating is firmly not allowed at this age in your household, talk with your child about why they want to date now. Understanding their perspective on this issue will help you parent them more effectively. Make sure that your child is self-confident enough to have healthy boundaries and the communication skills to talk about those boundaries with peers.
A study from the University of Georgia found that middle schoolers who were in high frequency or back-to-back relationships tended to be prone to high-risk behaviors, like drinking or doing drugs, later in adolescence.
I Didn’t Date in High School and Here’s Why
Question: “Is it wise for Christian teens to be dating? To some today, the word dating has become synonymous with sleeping together. In considering the wisdom of Christian teens dating, we need to establish the purpose of dating. Dating is a fairly recent Western idea, evolving from the earlier practice of courtship.
Don’t allow peer pressure to force you into dating situations that are not appropriate. Realize that over 50% of girls and over 40% of guys never date in high school.
Your ultimate goal is to spend eternity with Heavenly Father, and in His kingdom we will live as eternal families. So the ultimate goal of dating is to find an eternal companion you can make and keep temple covenants with. These skills will be helpful in your social interactions and then later in courtship and marriage. It is good for young men and young women to learn to know and to appreciate one another. It is good for you to go to games and dances and picnics, to do all of the young things.
We encourage our young people to date.
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A School With Distinctive Difference
When should a Christian start dating? Should a Christian date in high school, in college, or only after they graduate? What does the Bible say about when to date?
A prominent Reformed theologian thinks it’s unwise for teenagers to date while in high school, and says that youth, with some exceptions, should postpone it until they’re spiritually mature and ready to move toward marriage. That’s not as true today in America as it once was,” Piper said. He noted that many people in his generation typically married at a much younger age and that his own parents were 19 and 20 when they were wed.
But he knows many people in his generation who also advise not pairing off in dating relationships while in high school. Even if godly people you know married early, dating early is not necessarily a good idea, he said. And the Bible is clear that sexual relations are for the marriage covenant, he added, referencing the Apostle Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians , which read: “Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
This perspective stands in stark contrast to our modern, media-saturated society where the prevailing sexual ethic is that sex outside of marriage is fine as long as it’s consensual.